Merry Christmas

by lily on December 23, 2012

SANTA ARRIVES … AUSSIE STYLE

How to say “Merry Christmas” in different languages.

  1. Alien: (transmitted directly into your mind)
  2. Arabic: Milad Majid
  3. Baby Talk: Merr Kissmus
  4. Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan’Gung Haw Sun
  5. Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
  6. Danish: Glædelig Jul
  7. Dog: Arf Arf
  8. Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast
  9. English: Merry Christmas
  10. French: Joyeux Noel
  11. German: Fröhliche Weihnachten
  12. Greek: Kala Christouyenna!
  13. Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka
  14. Hebrew: Mo’adim Lesimkha. Chena tova
  15. Hindi: मेरी क्रिसमस
  16. HTML: </Merry><Christmas</h1>
  17. Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah
  18. Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie
  19. Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto
  20. Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha
  21. Philippines: Maligayang Pasko!
  22. Pig Latin: ErryMay IstmasChray
  23. Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
  24. Spanish: Feliz Navidad
  25. Vietnamese: Chuc Mung Giang Sinh
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM LILY AND THE KIDS

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Cat Circus!

by lily on December 10, 2012

LOOK AT THOSE PUSSYCATS GO… LOVE ‘EM!

Doggies, eat your hearts out.

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Gross? … Quirky? … Ugly?

by lily on December 3, 2012

THE WATER TASTES BETTER … IT’S A FACT

Furry friends.  Please pay attention.

I hope you have been saving your pocket money because I have found the MUST-HAVE ACCESSORY of the year.

Your humans will either find your purchase hilarious or despair at your abject bad taste.

Either way …  buy now and my new BFF Amazon will pay me … well, bugger all really.  If I’m really successful I might earn enough to buy a couple of packets of Liver Treats.

Amuse … gross out … horrify … the humans in your life.

Or get revenge for all those times they dressed you in stupid costumes.

Buy your own Toilet Drinking Bowl.

 CSB Dog Toilet Bowl

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Yummy Mummy

by lily on December 2, 2012

REMEMBER LAST SPRING’S STORY ON THE GREAT DEFORESTATION FESTIVAL …

 

Mostly I love winter … our sad excuse for winter … our coolish weather.

But, there’s always a but …

Hairy legs.

Winter legs.  Just as creatures grow a more luxuriant winter coat, so do Mum’s legs.  Now, I’m not saying she totally ignores the deforestation process in winter;  let’s just say her attention to detail is not as diligent as in summer.  As a result I’m forced to endure …

Winter Stubble.

Prickly, tickly, stubble.  Stubble I scrape against when I’m trying to enjoy a snuggle under the doona on the chilliest nights.  I’ve considered suggesting Mum attaches an elastic strap to the bottom of her jammies to keep them anchored to her feet, or wear a grown-up version of a baby jumpsuit.

But I don’t think I’d be game.

Oh, Happy Day.  This wonderful sunny morning in Paradise starts the GREAT MAGICAL DEFORESTATION FESTIVAL, when even the faintest evidence of stubble is removed, skin exfoliated and buffed to a sheen that even Charlie would envy, then moisturised and nourished to within an inch of its life.

And it’s all thanks to Moo Goo.

Strange name, you could even say odd.

Moo Goo don’t have a clue who we are … Mum just loves their stuff and wants to share the joy.  I think the fact that it involves her favourite farm animals, Moo Cows, plays an important part.

Mum loves Moo Goo because it’s natural and safe.

If ever there was a product to make your skin as smooth as a baby’s bottom from head to toe, it’s Moo Goo.  Mum adores the full-cream moisturiser that smells of Apple and Honey.  I’ve even been known to sidle alongside and give her ankle a little lick.  She also swears by their anti-Aging Cream with Resveratrol.

It’s going to be a happening summer in Oz.

And, best of all, no more Winter Stubble for another year.

YAY.

********************

Fast forward to NOW … look what I’ve discovered for this summer.

TA DA … BACON SHAVING CREAM

Man oh man I’ll have to buy a jar on the internet and pop it in the bathroom cabinet as a surprise.

Apparently the flavour lingers on the skin. What a tasty pair of pins Mum will have.  Then I’ll need to figure out how to have a schlurp without appearing like a leery leg stalker.

Smooth, hair-free legs smelling of bacon … what more could a cat ask for?

I hope the neighbourhood dogs don’t get a whiff.

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Smart Farmer

November 30, 2012

DON’T MESS WITH AN ANIMAL LOVER When the local Council refused permission to build a horse shelter this farmer built a giant table and chairs instead … for which he didn’t need a permit. I’d love to see the looks on the Councillors’ faces as they drive by. Naa Naa Nee Naa Naa.

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CRASH … BOOM … CRACKLE

November 19, 2012

IT STARTED WITH GREY SKIES THAT GOT DARKER Then we were hit with the most humongous, scary thunder storm. Chrissie and I were very brave and kept Mum company even when the lights went out and the whole house shook. Mikey was a scaredy cat and bolted … AND HID UNDER THE DOONA his eyes [...]

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Pet Cam

November 16, 2012

PET CAM here we come! For pussycats … For doggies big and small … I can’t wait to spy on Mikey and Chrissie. Time to discover just what they’ve been up to when they arrive home with innocent butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-their-mouths looks on their faces. CHECK OUT PETCAM

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MUM CAM

November 14, 2012

 MUM CAM I have been saying for ages that I was going to introduce MUM CAM to discover just what Mum gets up to when away from home. It’s HEEERE. This morning she said, “Just ducking out for a while, Lily.” “Where to?” I asked. “See ya,” Mum chirped, without answering my question, as she [...]

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Cat Woman

November 9, 2012

I entered the Australian Businesswomen’s Network Pets at Work competition to promote the WSPA. The competition was for women in business to share how their pets enhanced the work environment. I cited Mikey and Chrissie as my helpers. I was rejected. Because I’m not human. The fact that I’m a cat woman/woman cat didn’t carry [...]

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SPINNING AROUND

November 3, 2012

OUR AUSSIE KYLIE SPINNING AROUND No, I’m not getting carried away and singing along with Kylie Minogue. The reason my head is spinning is because I’ve worked out that in order to get on top of our current workload I’ll need to clone myself once and Mum possibly twice or more. Here’s what we have [...]

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